I am learning to love myself thanks to the people who love me. I see how much I am loved. I know that me being on this earth is important. This is just a little brainstorm of something bigger that I am discovering about myself.
Self esteem, body image and love have been a strong themes in my life recently. Body stuff is always on my mind but I think something is finally clicking in my head concerning self love. I don't know if it is age, therapy, the people I am surrounding myself with or this recent trip to NYC to see my family that has helped this epiphany I am having.
I am learning to love myself thanks to the people who love me. I see how much I am loved. I know that me being on this earth is important. This is just a little brainstorm of something bigger that I am discovering about myself.
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We had such a great event this past Friday at Halmoni!!! We had the pleasure of hosting Virgie Tovar, writer, fat-activist and sexologist. She not only did a reading from her book Hot & Heavy: Fat Fierce Girls on Life, Love and Fashion but also had a fat girl pop-up shop from her show-stopping wardrobe. This is what The Daily Californian had to say about the event!! Stay tuned for more pics from the event!!!
I am sure you are wondering what does self-compassion have to do with vintage or fashion? I think it has plenty to do with one another because fashion is linked to self esteem and how people look at you. We all want to be an individual, we all want to be special and we all want to be loved. We live in a world where there is so much insecurity, anxiety and depression because of self judgement so how do we be kind to ourselves??? Well that is called SELF COMPASSION. I struggle with all of the above emotions and thought this would be a great topic to touch on especially because the holidays are upon us. All types of emotions are floating around in the world right now and I want to separate what is mine from others and stay clean emotionally and not have destructive patterns of isolation, fear and negativity. What is self-compassion? Self compassion means being sweet and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail and feel inadequate rather then being self critical and mean. I am soft and understanding to others but I want to evoke that for myself. My inner critic is cruel and I want to learn self-compassion because I believe it is the foundation to emotional healing and emotional freedom. Self-compassion is a great idea but I know that I have a long journey of unlearning many years of self loathing. My journey will be long and of course hard at times but I will now practice self-compassion when the journey gets hard and bumpy. I will comfort myself and show kindness. I will put the oxygen mask on myself first so that I can assist and be healthy enough to help others. "Each circumstance in our present-day life that triggers emotional pain is an opportunity to practice self-compassion and be with ourselves on a deep and intimate level. If we stay with this introspection, we uncover the core shame that lurks in the depths of each of us, giving us the opportunity to heal it." I am making a promise to myself to be kind. I will be mindful about my emotions and allow myself to have these emotions but I won't let them drown me and take over.
I am going to try and do 3 things for myself to build a path for my road to recovery. 1. I will give myself "HAPPY/SELF CARE" days...REGULARLY!!! 2. I will leave my comfort zone more often so that I can build with people the foundation of my support network. 3. I will exercise more often (within my comfort zone, of course)because it DOES make me feel good and makes me feel healthier because I am releasing emotional and physical toxins. 4. Last but not least, I will practice what I preach :0) Do you practice self-compassion? How do you stay kind to yourself? Thanks for listening :0) It has taken me a long time to start feeling good about my body. I thought it wasn't possible to feel cute and fat at the same time. I have always been about comfort and never wanted to leave my comfort zone. I thought that I needed to look like the masses, but I've come to realize I only feel comfortable being myself. So these are the guidelines I go by when I shop and dress for my daily fat fashion life. 1. Always try everything on. Why do you ask? Because you can't judge a book by its cover. Different kinds of material give in different ways for our bodies, so take a risk and try items, just for the heck of it. The dress below is a size 26 but someone might have overlooked it because of the way it sits on the hanger....seeee! i wear a highwaist belt almost everyday ;) 2. Highwaist belts are my best friend. When a belt doesn't fit me around the waist it usually looks fantastic if pulled up to make it highwaisted. I think it makes an outfit a bit more special. It helps to add cuteness and makes this white v-necked t-shirt look fancy. 3. Layer up if you don't want to show off too much. Whenever I don't want to show too much I add a cardigan. Cardigans are a staple in my wardrobe. I heart the off the shoulder librarian look, I think it's so classy. You can also wear tops under a dress that doesn't have sleeves, like a 70's style jumper look. 4. Always check the maternity section. Makes sense right, more belly room. They make jeans, simple tops, gowns and jackets for pregnant women why should they be the only ones who wear it...I have found killer tankini bathing suits in the maternity section, longer midriffs and built in bras! Plus-size swimwear doesn't even have these things. 5. Buy big if you love something because you can always alter it. I have established a relationship with the washhouse/dry cleaners in my neighborhood. The owner will alter anything I want for a really good deal. This dress was taken in, sleeves cut and hem dropped, so it would be long enough to cover my bum. heels smeels 6. Heels smeels. You don't have to wear heels or anything else that makes you feel uncomfortable. I applaud women who can wear heels, but I am NOT one of them. They hurt and are uncomfortable so I wear my favorite shoes in the whole wide world...my beat-up vans. For fancier occasions, I wear ones that aren't so beat. I added a pic below of Amy Winehouse, who also wore shoes that were comfy and that she loved! 7. Accessorize, Accessorize, Accessorize. Adding earrings, pins and necklaces adds pizazz to any outfit. Have you watched Project Accessory (its like Project Runway but for accessories? 8. Don't believe that fat girls can't mix patterns. Crazy loud, huh!?! I love it! Look how happy it makes me and how bright and colorful I am. Can you say,"Making a statement!"(and snap your finger!) 9. Yes, you can rock bodycon too! Let your curves be curves. I never thought I could pull off bodycon but I love when I'm showing off my belly. You have to love every inch of you...as much as you can. Bodycon allows me to see myself, every beautiful silhouette my body creates. See yourself! Look at yourself! 10. Be yourself and be happy! Just go with your instincts and it will make you the happiest and stylish!
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